I’m sorry I ditch you for a while. But I had to take a moment and reflect just what in the world I was doing with my life.
And my conclusion…..
I forgot to exhale.
You know when you get really excited about something and you’re all tense and holding your breath because you just can’t wait for it to happen? Well, I was in that state of being for the last 2-3 months. And let me tell you……
We are always trying to figure out a way to quit our jobs and live off of our homestead. I mean, there are soooo many people that do it and are incredibly successful.
Why can’t we?!
So I pushed myself to try and make something happen. I committed to posting three times a week. I committed to posting on social media 1-2 times a day. I committed to reaching a rank within my doTERRA business by a certain month. All the while working a full time job then coming home to be a mom and wife.
I did a half ass job y’all.
And the crappy part, is that I was doing a half ass job with the most important part of my life…..being a mom and a wife.
I realized that I wasn’t living. I wasn’t experiencing what was around me. I was pushing through everything to make sure I “got it all.” When something was about to happen or I was about to complete a project I was so focused on trying to document everything that I was blindly living. I was snapping at my husband. I was getting frustrated with my kids.
I had to exhale y’all. So that meant, I had to ditch you for a little bit. And I’m sorry. But finding a balance of what is important in life is extremely vital.
It’s hard to allow yourself to live in the moment. We tend to live in the past, which is dead and gone or the future, which hasn’t even happened yet. But I want to live in this exact moment and feel the energy that surrounds me. I want to be present when I’m clearing out all the old leaves and debris from our passion fruit archway. I want to hear the bonsai plant tell me what it needs to be happy and healthy. I want to hear my orchids sing with happiness after I feed them and clear the dead off of them. I want to get down on one knee and have the patience to hear what my 2 year old has to say about Spider-Man and the hulk. I want to be present when my daughter asked to cuddle on the couch. And I want to stop snapping at my husband when he asks me where the remote is. I want to feel the energy coming from the earth and into my soul when I do my yoga practice.
Yoga has always been my go to.
I even lost the meaning yoga. Ugh, this has taken a huge toll on my sanity. But as I harbored this mindset, I just felt frustrated and questioned why I was doing yoga. It was like I just got up every morning at 4a to just “get it done.” And that is not the meaning of yoga for me. So I even ditched that. I had to find its meaning again. I had to ask myself why I was doing it.
I had to reconnect.
I had to find the flow of life again.
So, I had to exhale and let everything go for a moment.
Does it hurt to do that when so much energy has gone into it all….of course.
Is it worth it…
There are so many successful bloggers and YouTubers that make you feel like you’re slacking on your journey but what I realized is that we are just on different sections of the journey. And nothing should be compared. Being content in life is way more important.
And right now, I am content.